1 00:00:09,467 --> 00:00:10,885 [Pam] Well, I should go. 2 00:00:10,927 --> 00:00:12,887 All right. I'll tell everybody here that you say hi. 3 00:00:12,929 --> 00:00:15,181 [Pam] No, don't, I'm mad at them. 4 00:00:15,223 --> 00:00:16,057 Why, what happened? 5 00:00:16,099 --> 00:00:17,225 [Pam] Not one of them called 6 00:00:17,267 --> 00:00:19,060 to congratulate me on our engagement. 7 00:00:19,102 --> 00:00:22,313 Ah. That, they might be off the hook for, 8 00:00:22,355 --> 00:00:24,482 because I didn't tell them. 9 00:00:24,524 --> 00:00:25,734 [Pam] What? Why not? 10 00:00:25,775 --> 00:00:27,068 (chuckles) 11 00:00:27,110 --> 00:00:29,821 I just didn't, you know, want to deal. 12 00:00:29,863 --> 00:00:31,740 [Pam] Come on. It won't be that bad. 13 00:00:31,781 --> 00:00:34,325 Okay. You know what? 14 00:00:34,367 --> 00:00:35,201 Here we go. 15 00:00:36,995 --> 00:00:39,497 Everybody, I just wanted to make an announcement. 16 00:00:39,539 --> 00:00:41,458 Pam and I are engaged. 17 00:00:41,499 --> 00:00:42,334 [Pam] Hi everyone! 18 00:00:43,626 --> 00:00:44,669 I thought you were already engaged. 19 00:00:44,711 --> 00:00:46,087 Nope. 20 00:00:46,129 --> 00:00:47,839 That was Roy. She was engaged to Roy. 21 00:00:47,881 --> 00:00:49,174 Thank you, Angela. 22 00:00:49,215 --> 00:00:51,509 Just try and get it done inside three years. 23 00:00:51,551 --> 00:00:52,552 Thank you, Stanley. 24 00:00:52,594 --> 00:00:54,763 I got a gift for Pam and Roy. 25 00:00:54,804 --> 00:00:56,598 Do I have to get another one? 26 00:00:56,639 --> 00:00:57,974 Yes. 27 00:00:58,016 --> 00:00:59,225 A little close to my engagement there, Tuna. 28 00:00:59,267 --> 00:01:00,352 What's your game here? 29 00:01:00,393 --> 00:01:01,853 To get married. 30 00:01:01,895 --> 00:01:03,605 She's not a virgin, you know? 31 00:01:03,646 --> 00:01:04,856 [Pam] Wow. 32 00:01:04,898 --> 00:01:05,815 What's everybody talking about? 33 00:01:05,857 --> 00:01:07,734 The tall guy got engaged. 34 00:01:07,776 --> 00:01:08,651 What? 35 00:01:08,693 --> 00:01:09,486 Yeah. 36 00:01:09,527 --> 00:01:10,528 What? 37 00:01:10,570 --> 00:01:11,613 (screams) 38 00:01:11,654 --> 00:01:12,489 (body thuds) 39 00:01:12,530 --> 00:01:13,698 What's going on? 40 00:01:13,740 --> 00:01:14,699 [Pam] No, nothing. Nothing Michael. 41 00:01:14,741 --> 00:01:15,909 Just saying hi. 42 00:01:16,826 --> 00:01:18,787 Jim and Pam are engaged! 43 00:01:18,828 --> 00:01:19,704 To be married? 44 00:01:19,746 --> 00:01:20,747 Yep. 45 00:01:20,789 --> 00:01:23,375 (body thuds) 46 00:01:23,416 --> 00:01:24,542 (another body thuds) 47 00:01:24,584 --> 00:01:25,377 [Pam] Sorry. 48 00:01:26,419 --> 00:01:29,464 (bright upbeat music) 49 00:01:49,317 --> 00:01:52,112 Pencils down. Just kidding, take your time. 50 00:01:52,153 --> 00:01:53,571 But you should probably be 51 00:01:53,613 --> 00:01:54,948 finishing up those questionnaires. 52 00:01:56,741 --> 00:01:57,575 {\an8}Stop it. 53 00:01:57,617 --> 00:01:58,618 {\an8}(clears throat) 54 00:01:58,660 --> 00:01:59,577 {\an8}What'd you get for number 70? 55 00:01:59,619 --> 00:02:00,620 {\an8}It's an ethics questionnaire. 56 00:02:00,662 --> 00:02:01,871 I know, but I didn't study. 57 00:02:01,913 --> 00:02:04,416 - Holly, Jim is - Dwight's cheating. 58 00:02:04,457 --> 00:02:05,125 Oh, okay. 59 00:02:06,501 --> 00:02:08,044 Today is ethics day. 60 00:02:08,086 --> 00:02:09,379 {\an8}After they finish their quiz, 61 00:02:09,421 --> 00:02:11,297 {\an8}I'm gonna run my first ethics meeting here. 62 00:02:11,339 --> 00:02:13,383 {\an8}It's gonna be insane. 63 00:02:15,218 --> 00:02:17,512 {\an8}No, it's not. I have to read from the binder. 64 00:02:19,055 --> 00:02:21,266 {\an8}Michael has been working on his introduction for days. 65 00:02:21,307 --> 00:02:23,893 {\an8}In dress rehearsal yesterday, it was 66 00:02:23,935 --> 00:02:26,479 {\an8}♪ Hooray for Holly Flax ♪ 67 00:02:26,521 --> 00:02:28,940 {\an8}uh but it got changed at the last minute, 68 00:02:28,982 --> 00:02:31,151 {\an8}which is the excitement of live theater. 69 00:02:33,028 --> 00:02:33,987 What's going on? 70 00:02:34,029 --> 00:02:35,780 Class is canceled. 71 00:02:35,822 --> 00:02:37,490 {\an8}Tiki bar or Manhattan douchebag lounge. 72 00:02:37,532 --> 00:02:38,450 - Douchebag. - Tiki ba 73 00:02:38,491 --> 00:02:39,951 We never do Tiki bar. 74 00:02:39,993 --> 00:02:41,453 [Girl] Yeah. I think Tiki's calling. 75 00:02:41,494 --> 00:02:42,454 Yeah. (bell ringing) 76 00:02:42,495 --> 00:02:43,371 {\an8}Where do you have to be? 77 00:02:43,413 --> 00:02:44,247 {\an8}You have class right now. 78 00:02:44,289 --> 00:02:45,623 I'm an adult. 79 00:02:45,665 --> 00:02:47,125 - Oh. - Yeah. 80 00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:48,960 {\an8}You are way older than us. I wasn't gonna say, but 81 00:02:49,002 --> 00:02:50,378 You could be my mom. Do you know her? 82 00:02:50,420 --> 00:02:52,756 {\an8}Are you guys best friends from being the same age? 83 00:02:52,797 --> 00:02:54,424 Okay, fine. I'm in. 84 00:02:54,466 --> 00:02:56,926 {\an8}[Girl] But are you best friends with them? 85 00:02:56,968 --> 00:02:58,928 {\an8}We shop occasionally. 86 00:02:58,970 --> 00:03:02,182 {\an8}(indistinct chatting) 87 00:03:03,391 --> 00:03:04,601 I got it. I got it. 88 00:03:04,642 --> 00:03:08,688 ♪ I took you to an intimate restaurant, ♪ 89 00:03:08,730 --> 00:03:10,857 {\an8}♪ Then to a suggestive movie ♪ 90 00:03:12,776 --> 00:03:15,987 {\an8}♪ There's nothin' left to talk about ♪ 91 00:03:16,029 --> 00:03:18,073 {\an8}♪ Unless it's horizontally ♪ 92 00:03:19,699 --> 00:03:21,659 {\an8}♪ Let's get ethical ♪ 93 00:03:21,701 --> 00:03:22,827 {\an8}♪ Ethical ♪ 94 00:03:22,869 --> 00:03:25,830 {\an8}♪ I wanna get ethical ♪ 95 00:03:25,872 --> 00:03:27,874 {\an8}♪ Let's get into ethics. Yeah. ♪ 96 00:03:27,916 --> 00:03:30,543 ♪ Let me hear the Dund Mifflin talk. ♪ 97 00:03:30,585 --> 00:03:31,711 {\an8}♪ Your body talk. ♪ 98 00:03:31,753 --> 00:03:34,005 {\an8}♪ Let me hear your body talk. ♪ 99 00:03:34,047 --> 00:03:35,715 Woo. All right. 100 00:03:35,757 --> 00:03:39,844 Wow. This is huge for Holly because having an entertaining 101 00:03:39,886 --> 00:03:43,306 meeting is the way of becoming well liked. 102 00:03:43,348 --> 00:03:46,518 I recommended a song parody, classic. 103 00:03:46,559 --> 00:03:49,270 Funny. People love them. 104 00:03:49,312 --> 00:03:51,439 Um, why are you helping her? 105 00:03:51,481 --> 00:03:52,816 You're not even dating. 106 00:03:52,857 --> 00:03:54,025 She's my friend. 107 00:03:54,067 --> 00:03:57,696 And ultimately my strategy is to sort 108 00:03:57,737 --> 00:04:01,700 of merge this into a relationship 109 00:04:01,741 --> 00:04:02,659 without her even knowing. 110 00:04:02,701 --> 00:04:03,535 (sigh) 111 00:04:03,576 --> 00:04:04,911 No. 112 00:04:04,953 --> 00:04:08,289 Okay, let's give it up for Miss Holly Flax. 113 00:04:08,331 --> 00:04:10,375 (light clapping) 114 00:04:10,417 --> 00:04:11,209 Thanks Michael. 115 00:04:12,502 --> 00:04:14,546 Today we're gonna have a business ethics seminar 116 00:04:14,587 --> 00:04:17,173 because recently, without mentioning any names, 117 00:04:17,215 --> 00:04:19,801 there's been some misconduct at corporate, 118 00:04:19,843 --> 00:04:22,220 and we have a very strict ethics policy 119 00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:24,097 and that employee has been fired. 120 00:04:24,139 --> 00:04:27,058 Oh, come on. He's right there. 121 00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:28,601 He was hired. 122 00:04:28,643 --> 00:04:29,519 Ooh, check it out. 123 00:04:29,561 --> 00:04:31,271 Hired guy. 124 00:04:31,312 --> 00:04:33,606 Okay, elephant in the room. 125 00:04:33,648 --> 00:04:35,025 Let's talk about it. 126 00:04:35,066 --> 00:04:36,943 Do I regret what I did? 127 00:04:38,319 --> 00:04:40,321 Of course I do. Even though it was an amazing ride. 128 00:04:40,363 --> 00:04:41,906 And I'll give you an example. 129 00:04:41,948 --> 00:04:44,117 Anyone see Survivor Season six? 130 00:04:44,159 --> 00:04:46,077 Anyone know Joanna on that show? 131 00:04:46,119 --> 00:04:48,079 In New York city, I hooked up with a girl, 132 00:04:48,121 --> 00:04:50,457 who looked exactly like that. 133 00:04:50,498 --> 00:04:53,168 Indistinguishable, so. 134 00:04:53,209 --> 00:04:55,170 Okay, well done. 135 00:04:55,211 --> 00:04:56,046 Good speech, Ryan. 136 00:04:56,087 --> 00:04:57,339 You're a good guy. 137 00:04:57,380 --> 00:04:59,174 Let's start discussing those questionnaires 138 00:04:59,215 --> 00:05:01,092 that you filled in this morning. 139 00:05:01,134 --> 00:05:04,095 It is wrong to make personal calls during work hours. 140 00:05:04,137 --> 00:05:06,973 Now, some of you marked that you very strongly agree, 141 00:05:07,015 --> 00:05:09,434 but ideally you would've selected, totally agree. 142 00:05:09,476 --> 00:05:12,395 Dammit, I had that, but I changed it. 143 00:05:12,437 --> 00:05:14,981 That's okay. There are no right or wrong answers. 144 00:05:15,023 --> 00:05:17,817 You just said he gave the wrong answer. 145 00:05:17,859 --> 00:05:20,403 True. But don't think of it like that. 146 00:05:20,445 --> 00:05:22,906 I thought very strongly agree sounded 147 00:05:22,947 --> 00:05:25,158 stronger than totally agree. 148 00:05:25,200 --> 00:05:27,660 Corporate would like to emphasize that, ideally, 149 00:05:27,702 --> 00:05:30,121 you would all totally agree with that statement. 150 00:05:30,163 --> 00:05:32,248 Well, I think we can all totally agree 151 00:05:32,290 --> 00:05:35,627 that Holly is totally fantastic. 152 00:05:35,669 --> 00:05:36,670 Thank you. Okay. 153 00:05:37,671 --> 00:05:39,172 Okay. 154 00:05:39,214 --> 00:05:40,965 In fact, spending a half hour at the water cooler, 155 00:05:41,007 --> 00:05:43,385 during work hours, is a form of stealing. 156 00:05:43,426 --> 00:05:44,260 What? 157 00:05:44,302 --> 00:05:45,679 Yes, it's called time theft 158 00:05:45,720 --> 00:05:48,139 and it's the same as taking money from the company. 159 00:05:48,181 --> 00:05:50,475 Does corporate have to do this seminar? 160 00:05:50,517 --> 00:05:52,185 Because last time Wallace was here, 161 00:05:52,227 --> 00:05:54,646 he talked to Jim for like 45 minutes about the Mets. 162 00:05:56,106 --> 00:05:57,565 Thank you. 163 00:05:57,607 --> 00:05:59,567 Can anyone think of examples of things that are over 164 00:05:59,609 --> 00:06:01,111 the line, time wasters. 165 00:06:01,152 --> 00:06:02,320 This meeting? 166 00:06:02,362 --> 00:06:04,698 - Hay ooh. - Can't set 'em up like that. 167 00:06:04,739 --> 00:06:07,325 Why is it okay for smokers to take breaks all the time? 168 00:06:07,367 --> 00:06:09,869 If I wanna go outside and hang out once an hour, 169 00:06:09,911 --> 00:06:11,204 then I'll just take up smoking. 170 00:06:11,246 --> 00:06:12,080 I'll do it. I don't care. 171 00:06:12,122 --> 00:06:13,248 I'll smoke with you. 172 00:06:13,289 --> 00:06:14,833 I got a bag of cigars in my purse. 173 00:06:14,874 --> 00:06:17,460 Stealing office supplies is another big ethical area that 174 00:06:17,502 --> 00:06:19,671 there seems to be some confusion about. 175 00:06:19,713 --> 00:06:21,464 That's a big ethical area? 176 00:06:21,506 --> 00:06:23,341 Listen, I would love to have an honest conversation 177 00:06:23,383 --> 00:06:25,343 with management about ethics. 178 00:06:25,385 --> 00:06:27,762 Why isn't the company doing better? 179 00:06:27,804 --> 00:06:31,683 Mm. It could be the pad of post-its I took home last week. 180 00:06:33,184 --> 00:06:35,228 Or it could be the $12 million in deferred compensation 181 00:06:35,270 --> 00:06:37,689 and stock options they paid the CEO for a year 182 00:06:37,731 --> 00:06:39,315 of substandard performance. 183 00:06:39,357 --> 00:06:41,359 I'm sure we'll cover both in the seminar. 184 00:06:42,444 --> 00:06:44,029 Okay. Can we have a moment? 185 00:06:44,070 --> 00:06:46,197 Can I talk to you for a second? 186 00:06:46,239 --> 00:06:47,949 A lot of good stuff. Yeah. 187 00:06:47,991 --> 00:06:50,160 - You look, you look, - [Dwight] Michael. 188 00:06:50,201 --> 00:06:51,703 Fantastic. Yeah? 189 00:06:51,745 --> 00:06:53,872 What should we be working on while you guys are talking? 190 00:06:53,913 --> 00:06:54,748 Do some, do some work. 191 00:06:56,124 --> 00:06:58,626 People expect a lot from these meetings. 192 00:06:58,668 --> 00:07:02,672 Laughter, sudden twists, surprise endings. 193 00:07:02,714 --> 00:07:06,926 You need to be Robin Williams and M. Night Shyamalan. 194 00:07:06,968 --> 00:07:08,595 You need to be Robin Shyamalan. 195 00:07:08,636 --> 00:07:10,347 Well, I just have to get through the binder 196 00:07:10,388 --> 00:07:11,931 You're just, you're kind of losing them. 197 00:07:11,973 --> 00:07:13,516 I am? 198 00:07:13,558 --> 00:07:16,019 Yeah. Don't think about the stakes. It'll freak you out. 199 00:07:16,061 --> 00:07:17,354 Okay. 200 00:07:17,395 --> 00:07:19,647 Well, Michael makes a really good point. 201 00:07:19,689 --> 00:07:22,484 So let's just open this up a little bit. 202 00:07:22,525 --> 00:07:26,321 Say my name is Lauren and here I am shopping 203 00:07:26,363 --> 00:07:29,199 in a supermarket and I steal a pencil. 204 00:07:29,240 --> 00:07:30,575 That's not right. 205 00:07:30,617 --> 00:07:31,409 (coughing) 206 00:07:31,451 --> 00:07:32,285 Lauren 207 00:07:32,327 --> 00:07:33,745 Enough with the pencils. 208 00:07:33,787 --> 00:07:36,039 No, I have to go over pencils and office supplies. 209 00:07:36,081 --> 00:07:37,290 It's part of the ethics thing. 210 00:07:37,332 --> 00:07:39,292 That isn't ethics. 211 00:07:39,334 --> 00:07:41,753 Ethics is a real discussion of competing conceptions 212 00:07:41,795 --> 00:07:43,254 of the good. 213 00:07:43,296 --> 00:07:45,799 This is just the corporate anti-shoplifting rules. 214 00:07:45,840 --> 00:07:47,592 [Andy] I'll drop an ethics bomb on you. 215 00:07:47,634 --> 00:07:51,096 Would you steal bread to feed your family? 216 00:07:51,137 --> 00:07:52,013 Boom! 217 00:07:52,055 --> 00:07:53,390 Exactly. Andy. 218 00:07:53,431 --> 00:07:55,308 Yeah. I took Intro to Philosophy. 219 00:07:55,350 --> 00:07:56,851 Twice. No big deal. 220 00:07:56,893 --> 00:07:59,437 It's a trick question. The bread is poisoned. 221 00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:01,314 Also. It's not your real family. 222 00:08:01,356 --> 00:08:04,192 You've been cuckolded by a stronger, smarter male. 223 00:08:04,234 --> 00:08:06,486 No, that's not how it works. 224 00:08:07,987 --> 00:08:11,157 I would not steal the bread. 225 00:08:11,199 --> 00:08:14,536 And I would not let my family go hungry. 226 00:08:14,577 --> 00:08:17,622 Okay. But what if you didn't have any money? 227 00:08:17,664 --> 00:08:19,791 Well, I would 228 00:08:20,834 --> 00:08:23,128 get a job or I would own a farm. 229 00:08:23,169 --> 00:08:24,838 Okay. You're fired. 230 00:08:24,879 --> 00:08:27,966 There's a drought, locusts, the whole thing. 231 00:08:28,008 --> 00:08:29,342 The farm is a money loser. 232 00:08:29,384 --> 00:08:32,303 All Right. Then I would steal a little bread, 233 00:08:32,345 --> 00:08:33,888 but just like ends. 234 00:08:33,930 --> 00:08:38,268 But what if that meant the baker's family would go hungry? 235 00:08:38,309 --> 00:08:40,437 Doesn't baker have backup bread? 236 00:08:40,478 --> 00:08:42,188 That was his backup bread, you stole. 237 00:08:42,230 --> 00:08:44,232 I didn't know I was stealing his backup bread. 238 00:08:44,274 --> 00:08:45,483 Okay. Okay. 239 00:08:46,735 --> 00:08:48,069 All right. You got me. 240 00:08:48,111 --> 00:08:49,487 I didn't... 241 00:08:49,529 --> 00:08:52,198 That was fun. That was fun to think about. 242 00:08:52,240 --> 00:08:54,659 Wow. Do you have any other brain ticklers for us? 243 00:08:54,701 --> 00:08:57,996 No, that that was fun, but we should get back to business. 244 00:08:58,038 --> 00:08:58,830 Wait, hey Michael. 245 00:08:58,872 --> 00:08:59,998 You see that wall? 246 00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:00,832 - Yes. - Okay. 247 00:09:00,874 --> 00:09:02,334 Now look away from it. 248 00:09:02,375 --> 00:09:04,336 You don't know if the wall's still there. 249 00:09:04,377 --> 00:09:05,587 What do you mean? Of course it's still there. 250 00:09:05,628 --> 00:09:06,963 Well, you don't know that 251 00:09:07,005 --> 00:09:07,756 because you're not looking at it. 252 00:09:07,797 --> 00:09:09,007 What if it disappeared? 253 00:09:09,049 --> 00:09:10,342 Where would it go? 254 00:09:10,383 --> 00:09:12,010 Well, that's not, I don't know. 255 00:09:12,052 --> 00:09:13,720 I know where the wall goes. 256 00:09:13,762 --> 00:09:15,638 Okay, so you're saying 257 00:09:15,680 --> 00:09:17,307 that if I'm not looking at the wall, 258 00:09:17,349 --> 00:09:18,516 how do I know it's there? 259 00:09:18,558 --> 00:09:19,184 Yes. 260 00:09:19,225 --> 00:09:20,226 Easy. 261 00:09:22,896 --> 00:09:24,022 Oh. 262 00:09:24,064 --> 00:09:25,357 Oh, alright. 263 00:09:25,398 --> 00:09:29,694 How does the wall know when I am looking at it? 264 00:09:29,736 --> 00:09:31,821 Okay. I think we've gone too far off topic. 265 00:09:31,863 --> 00:09:35,158 How do we know that we are not on topic 266 00:09:35,200 --> 00:09:37,452 for a different conversation? 267 00:09:37,494 --> 00:09:40,580 Because it is not in the binder. 268 00:09:40,622 --> 00:09:41,956 Binder? 269 00:09:41,998 --> 00:09:44,209 I don't see a binder. I'm not looking at the binder. 270 00:09:44,250 --> 00:09:46,711 How do I know the binder exists? 271 00:09:46,753 --> 00:09:48,046 Binder? 272 00:09:48,088 --> 00:09:48,963 I hardly knew her. 273 00:09:49,005 --> 00:09:49,881 (chuckles) 274 00:09:49,923 --> 00:09:52,550 So whoa, still there. 275 00:09:52,592 --> 00:09:55,929 Unfortunately my binder does still exist. 276 00:09:55,970 --> 00:09:58,807 So why don't a couple of you keep an eye on the walls 277 00:09:58,848 --> 00:10:01,393 and the rest of us will continue the discussion. 278 00:10:01,434 --> 00:10:03,269 Very good. Stanley, you take the west wall, 279 00:10:03,311 --> 00:10:04,896 Creed, the east, I'll take the ceiling. 280 00:10:04,938 --> 00:10:06,231 Okay. Thanks Dwight. 281 00:10:06,272 --> 00:10:07,857 But we should get back to business. 282 00:10:07,899 --> 00:10:11,069 Have any of you ever faced any ethical dilemmas 283 00:10:11,111 --> 00:10:12,028 in the workplace? 284 00:10:13,530 --> 00:10:14,781 [Michael] Anybody? 285 00:10:14,823 --> 00:10:17,075 This is a chance for you to say something without 286 00:10:17,117 --> 00:10:18,326 any repercussion. 287 00:10:18,368 --> 00:10:20,745 Stanley and Oscar, come on. 288 00:10:20,787 --> 00:10:21,955 Pass. 289 00:10:21,996 --> 00:10:23,707 I will go first. 290 00:10:23,748 --> 00:10:27,168 When I discovered YouTube, I didn't work for five days. 291 00:10:27,210 --> 00:10:29,546 I did nothing. 292 00:10:29,587 --> 00:10:32,257 I viewed Cookie Monster sings Chocolate Rain 293 00:10:32,298 --> 00:10:34,092 about a thousand times. 294 00:10:34,134 --> 00:10:35,844 What was the dilemma? 295 00:10:35,885 --> 00:10:37,762 To tell you or not. 296 00:10:37,804 --> 00:10:40,765 And I'm glad I did. I feel very, very good. 297 00:10:40,807 --> 00:10:42,267 And cathartic. 298 00:10:42,308 --> 00:10:44,728 I promise you that you are not going to get into trouble. 299 00:10:44,769 --> 00:10:47,230 You can say anything you want with total 300 00:10:47,272 --> 00:10:48,356 and complete immunity. 301 00:10:48,398 --> 00:10:49,399 Oh no, no. 302 00:10:49,441 --> 00:10:51,776 Yeah. Come on. Anybody. 303 00:10:51,818 --> 00:10:53,236 Let it fly. 304 00:10:53,278 --> 00:10:55,655 Okay. Once, once in a while, I'll take a long lunch. 305 00:10:55,697 --> 00:10:56,740 A siesta. 306 00:10:56,781 --> 00:10:58,783 Time thief, time thief, fire him! 307 00:10:58,825 --> 00:10:59,993 Dwight. 308 00:11:00,035 --> 00:11:02,620 You've really never, stolen any company time? 309 00:11:02,662 --> 00:11:03,496 Never. 310 00:11:03,538 --> 00:11:06,041 You are a thief of joy. 311 00:11:06,082 --> 00:11:08,585 I have never missed a day because of sickness. 312 00:11:08,626 --> 00:11:11,838 I have had intestinal flu, 313 00:11:11,880 --> 00:11:14,299 scabies, lice, 314 00:11:14,341 --> 00:11:18,345 pink eye, mono, the pox. 315 00:11:18,386 --> 00:11:19,971 I still come in. 316 00:11:20,013 --> 00:11:21,514 Anybody else? Yeah. 317 00:11:21,556 --> 00:11:24,309 Sometimes I download pirated music onto my work computer. 318 00:11:24,351 --> 00:11:26,561 Who hasn't? Good. Good. 319 00:11:26,603 --> 00:11:27,562 - What else? - No, I, I'd like 320 00:11:27,604 --> 00:11:29,105 to hear more about that. 321 00:11:29,147 --> 00:11:31,941 Well, remember when Andy had his engagement brunch? 322 00:11:31,983 --> 00:11:34,569 Several of us got together to come up with excuses 323 00:11:34,611 --> 00:11:35,987 why we couldn't make it. 324 00:11:37,113 --> 00:11:39,157 What? Who else, Phyllis? 325 00:11:39,199 --> 00:11:40,408 I don't want to say. 326 00:11:40,450 --> 00:11:42,619 Yeah, cause no one came. 327 00:11:42,660 --> 00:11:44,704 And I threw a deli platter in the pool. 328 00:11:45,872 --> 00:11:48,750 I once reported Oscar to the INS. 329 00:11:48,792 --> 00:11:51,002 Turns out he's clean, but I'm glad I did it. 330 00:11:52,379 --> 00:11:54,881 Well, let's keep this party moving on. 331 00:11:54,923 --> 00:11:57,175 I've done some things I'm not proud of. 332 00:11:57,217 --> 00:11:59,928 Committed some atrocities in Vietnam. 333 00:11:59,969 --> 00:12:02,722 Two years ago, Princess Cruise Lines. 334 00:12:03,473 --> 00:12:04,808 Ryan. 335 00:12:04,849 --> 00:12:06,351 Oh, what you mean? Other than embezzling? 336 00:12:06,393 --> 00:12:09,020 - Fraud, Jim, fraud. - Fraud. 337 00:12:09,062 --> 00:12:11,523 Sure. Last year, you guys were riding me really hard 338 00:12:11,564 --> 00:12:13,650 for the web site, and I just peeled out my Z3, 339 00:12:13,692 --> 00:12:16,069 and I knocked the mirror off somebody's car. 340 00:12:16,111 --> 00:12:17,195 I never said a thing. 341 00:12:17,237 --> 00:12:19,197 Wait, what? 342 00:12:19,239 --> 00:12:20,490 I'll go. 343 00:12:20,532 --> 00:12:22,325 Have you guys ever met Bruce Myers, 344 00:12:22,367 --> 00:12:24,285 the Scranton rep for Hammermill? 345 00:12:24,327 --> 00:12:25,370 Bruuuuuuuuuce. 346 00:12:25,412 --> 00:12:26,871 Well, for the past six years, 347 00:12:26,913 --> 00:12:29,749 I've been sleeping with him, in exchange for discounts, 348 00:12:29,791 --> 00:12:33,253 on our supplies and Outback Steakhouse gift certificates. 349 00:12:33,294 --> 00:12:34,421 Jackpot. 350 00:12:34,462 --> 00:12:36,464 (laughing) 351 00:12:36,506 --> 00:12:39,884 Meredith. That is serious. 352 00:12:39,926 --> 00:12:42,679 I mean, not only is that a conflict of interest, 353 00:12:42,721 --> 00:12:45,098 but there's also an exchange of goods. 354 00:12:45,140 --> 00:12:46,933 Exchange of steak. 355 00:12:46,975 --> 00:12:48,643 Have you ever had sirloin steak, honey? 356 00:12:48,685 --> 00:12:51,855 That's crazy. That's crazy talk. 357 00:12:51,896 --> 00:12:56,901 Meredith, the Maridater, sleeping with suppliers. 358 00:12:57,444 --> 00:12:58,069 (laughter) 359 00:12:58,111 --> 00:12:59,404 Whoo woo 360 00:12:59,446 --> 00:13:01,156 Wow. What time we got? 361 00:13:01,197 --> 00:13:04,576 You know what? That's a good place to end it, right there. 362 00:13:04,617 --> 00:13:07,746 This I think was a great ethic seminar. 363 00:13:07,787 --> 00:13:11,082 She has given us a lot of wonderful things to think about. 364 00:13:11,124 --> 00:13:13,877 Right. What is wrong? 365 00:13:13,918 --> 00:13:16,546 Who's to say, really, in the end. 366 00:13:16,588 --> 00:13:19,341 I mean, because it is unknowable, 367 00:13:19,382 --> 00:13:20,925 but let's give her a round of applause. 368 00:13:20,967 --> 00:13:21,676 (applause) 369 00:13:21,718 --> 00:13:23,136 Holly everybody. Holly. 370 00:13:23,178 --> 00:13:23,970 Get back to work. 371 00:13:25,972 --> 00:13:27,390 Great job. 372 00:13:27,432 --> 00:13:30,435 I am truly impressed that ah, 373 00:13:30,477 --> 00:13:31,561 you really pulled that one out. 374 00:13:31,603 --> 00:13:33,271 Classic classic meeting. 375 00:13:33,313 --> 00:13:34,773 We should celebrate. 376 00:13:34,814 --> 00:13:37,233 Michael, there's some serious issues with Meredith. 377 00:13:37,275 --> 00:13:38,485 Oh 378 00:13:38,526 --> 00:13:39,527 I mean all of you have done things. 379 00:13:39,569 --> 00:13:40,987 I wouldn't have done myself, 380 00:13:41,029 --> 00:13:43,323 but Meredith's actions are really over the line. 381 00:13:43,365 --> 00:13:45,784 Yeah. What you gonna do? 382 00:13:52,957 --> 00:13:54,542 When you wink at the end, does that mean something? 383 00:13:54,584 --> 00:13:56,169 Mmm hmm. It means he's a dork. 384 00:13:57,003 --> 00:13:58,213 Oh. So how do I write back? 385 00:13:58,254 --> 00:13:59,673 You know, showing him that I'm also a dork? 386 00:13:59,714 --> 00:14:00,674 Oh, he knows. 387 00:14:01,758 --> 00:14:03,009 Don't ask me. 388 00:14:03,051 --> 00:14:04,719 I don't even know what I'm doing here. 389 00:14:04,761 --> 00:14:06,304 I'm like way older than you guys. 390 00:14:07,931 --> 00:14:11,601 I mean like I have a fiance, and I had like a 10 year plan, 391 00:14:11,643 --> 00:14:14,562 and like is graphic design even art? 392 00:14:14,604 --> 00:14:16,314 At this point, I thought that I would be married 393 00:14:16,356 --> 00:14:17,899 and running my own art company. 394 00:14:21,778 --> 00:14:24,656 But, um, I would just put like a big LOL, 395 00:14:24,698 --> 00:14:26,241 little LOL, winky face. 396 00:14:26,282 --> 00:14:27,367 Huh? Okay. 397 00:14:30,286 --> 00:14:32,914 So regarding the supplier, 398 00:14:32,956 --> 00:14:36,251 approximately how many liaisons have there been? 399 00:14:36,292 --> 00:14:37,627 Liaisons? You mean meetups? 400 00:14:37,669 --> 00:14:39,462 I don't know. 401 00:14:39,504 --> 00:14:41,381 Once a month for six years. 402 00:14:41,423 --> 00:14:42,674 Something like that. 403 00:14:42,716 --> 00:14:45,260 Meredith, why don't you tell Holly it's not 404 00:14:45,301 --> 00:14:46,594 what she thinks. 405 00:14:46,636 --> 00:14:48,763 Nothing unethical happened. 406 00:14:48,805 --> 00:14:52,892 And that you just like to sleep around. 407 00:14:52,934 --> 00:14:54,352 Am I in trouble here or something? 408 00:14:54,394 --> 00:14:55,437 No, no. 409 00:14:55,478 --> 00:14:57,439 This is just a stupid formality. 410 00:14:57,480 --> 00:14:59,858 No, it's not a formality. 411 00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:02,360 Now were these, um, 412 00:15:02,402 --> 00:15:03,570 meetups, 413 00:15:03,611 --> 00:15:05,321 just personal, 414 00:15:05,363 --> 00:15:06,656 unrelated to business? 415 00:15:06,698 --> 00:15:08,450 Nah, I wouldn't have done it if it wasn't 416 00:15:08,491 --> 00:15:09,951 for the discount paper. 417 00:15:09,993 --> 00:15:11,703 There's not a lot of fruit in those Looms. 418 00:15:11,745 --> 00:15:13,121 For the love of God, we're trying to help you. 419 00:15:13,163 --> 00:15:14,414 You stupid bag. 420 00:15:15,498 --> 00:15:17,083 What I don't understand is 421 00:15:18,209 --> 00:15:20,295 why the steak coupons? 422 00:15:20,337 --> 00:15:23,590 I mean if you were already getting the discounted paper? 423 00:15:23,631 --> 00:15:25,091 Well, it's funny. 424 00:15:25,133 --> 00:15:28,887 Maybe it's a girl thing, but after we did it, 425 00:15:28,928 --> 00:15:31,306 when he would give me those coupons, 426 00:15:31,348 --> 00:15:33,183 I just felt good about myself. 427 00:15:38,271 --> 00:15:39,773 And what's going on here. 428 00:15:39,814 --> 00:15:41,149 I thought I had immunity. 429 00:15:41,191 --> 00:15:43,360 Well unfortunately immunity or something being 430 00:15:43,401 --> 00:15:46,363 off the record does not really exist in the workplace. 431 00:15:46,404 --> 00:15:47,947 I mean, I've never heard of anyone who kept their job 432 00:15:47,989 --> 00:15:49,991 after something like this. 433 00:15:50,033 --> 00:15:52,369 Well, I'm not quitting. 434 00:15:57,165 --> 00:16:02,170 Hey man, you knocked the mirror off of my car. 435 00:16:03,004 --> 00:16:04,714 Yeah. Isn't that messed up? 436 00:16:04,756 --> 00:16:06,007 Yeah. 437 00:16:06,049 --> 00:16:07,801 That guy did a lot of things I'm not proud of. 438 00:16:09,344 --> 00:16:15,100 Wait. When you say, "that guy", do you mean you? 439 00:16:15,141 --> 00:16:16,810 I mean the guy I used to be. 440 00:16:18,186 --> 00:16:21,189 I'm Ryan 2.0 and if it makes you feel any better, 441 00:16:21,231 --> 00:16:23,942 that guy did a lot of messed up stuff to me too. 442 00:16:23,983 --> 00:16:27,946 No. You mean that you did a lot of messed up stuff to you... 443 00:16:27,987 --> 00:16:29,406 - Look, I feel you. - ...too. 444 00:16:29,447 --> 00:16:32,325 Okay. That guy took no responsibility for his actions. 445 00:16:33,410 --> 00:16:35,912 But are, are you gonna pay for my mirror? 446 00:16:35,954 --> 00:16:38,373 If I have to answer for everything that guy did, 447 00:16:40,291 --> 00:16:41,292 I'm never gonna move on. 448 00:16:42,585 --> 00:16:44,379 It was like $200. 449 00:16:44,421 --> 00:16:46,840 We're never gonna get what we need from that guy. 450 00:16:51,344 --> 00:16:52,679 What are we gonna do? 451 00:16:52,721 --> 00:16:53,680 About what? 452 00:16:53,722 --> 00:16:55,223 Holly? 453 00:16:55,265 --> 00:16:58,476 She's on the war path. She is gunning for all our jobs. 454 00:16:58,518 --> 00:17:00,103 Do you guys have any dirt on her? 455 00:17:01,396 --> 00:17:03,398 Sometimes her stockings have a run in them. 456 00:17:03,440 --> 00:17:05,525 No something, I can blackmail her with. 457 00:17:06,818 --> 00:17:09,612 Mmm, one time, I said good morning to her 458 00:17:09,654 --> 00:17:11,406 and she didn't say it back. 459 00:17:12,991 --> 00:17:15,285 Stanley. Didn't she say a bunch of racist stuff to you? 460 00:17:15,326 --> 00:17:16,995 No, that was you. 461 00:17:17,037 --> 00:17:19,414 You weren't even in the room. 462 00:17:19,456 --> 00:17:20,290 Thanks for nothin' 463 00:17:31,426 --> 00:17:32,218 Hmm 464 00:17:33,762 --> 00:17:35,472 Yawn, four seconds. 465 00:17:37,390 --> 00:17:38,808 What are you doing? 466 00:17:38,850 --> 00:17:39,934 Oh, you had said that you don't do anything 467 00:17:39,976 --> 00:17:40,894 personal during work time. 468 00:17:40,935 --> 00:17:42,228 So, I'm just making sure. 469 00:17:43,480 --> 00:17:44,731 Oh, wait a minute. 470 00:17:44,773 --> 00:17:46,274 So you're gonna time me every time I yawn? 471 00:17:46,316 --> 00:17:47,776 That's absurd. 472 00:17:47,817 --> 00:17:49,361 Really? 473 00:17:49,402 --> 00:17:51,696 Oh, here look, monkey knows how to use a stopwatch. 474 00:17:51,738 --> 00:17:53,365 Everybody he's ti- 475 00:17:57,494 --> 00:17:59,037 (timer beeps) 476 00:17:59,079 --> 00:18:00,622 Personal conversation. 477 00:18:00,663 --> 00:18:02,123 17 seconds. 478 00:18:02,165 --> 00:18:03,083 There is no way that (timer beeps) 479 00:18:03,124 --> 00:18:03,917 that was 480 00:18:03,958 --> 00:18:05,460 (timer beeps again) 481 00:18:05,502 --> 00:18:06,378 One second. 482 00:18:10,090 --> 00:18:13,885 Well, well Holly-luah. 483 00:18:13,927 --> 00:18:14,886 It's a miracle, 484 00:18:14,928 --> 00:18:16,304 You're at your desk. 485 00:18:16,346 --> 00:18:18,473 It's mi-rac-ulous 486 00:18:19,015 --> 00:18:21,935 Woo hoo, reaching. You'll get there. 487 00:18:21,976 --> 00:18:24,312 Anyway, I was giving it some thought 488 00:18:24,354 --> 00:18:29,359 and there's no reason that two attractive, good looking, 489 00:18:30,026 --> 00:18:32,278 intelligent, funny, 490 00:18:32,320 --> 00:18:35,281 attractive people, can't, you know, 491 00:18:35,323 --> 00:18:37,784 just sit down and work this whole Meredith thing out. 492 00:18:37,826 --> 00:18:39,369 Sounds good. 493 00:18:39,411 --> 00:18:41,037 Good. 494 00:18:41,079 --> 00:18:42,831 Would you care to bang it out over lunch? 495 00:18:42,872 --> 00:18:45,250 Oh, I already bought this. 496 00:18:45,291 --> 00:18:47,168 Oh no, no, no. 497 00:18:47,210 --> 00:18:51,047 Your food is no good here, my lady. 498 00:18:52,298 --> 00:18:53,091 Sorry. 499 00:18:53,967 --> 00:18:55,844 You know what? Let's go out. 500 00:18:55,885 --> 00:18:58,013 Dunder Mifflin's treat. 501 00:18:58,054 --> 00:19:01,433 Um, actually, you're not a client, 502 00:19:01,474 --> 00:19:03,643 so, we'll just split it? 503 00:19:05,228 --> 00:19:06,062 Ethical. 504 00:19:07,439 --> 00:19:10,358 No, this is not an official date. 505 00:19:10,400 --> 00:19:13,987 When it is an official date, she will be aware of it. 506 00:19:14,029 --> 00:19:15,530 There will be a rose. 507 00:19:16,573 --> 00:19:19,659 There will be music and dancing, 508 00:19:21,411 --> 00:19:22,037 bottle of red, 509 00:19:22,078 --> 00:19:23,580 bottle of white, 510 00:19:24,664 --> 00:19:27,000 bottle of water, I have to drink more water. 511 00:19:28,209 --> 00:19:32,130 Some whispered conversation, some giggling, 512 00:19:33,757 --> 00:19:35,467 hmm, little wine. 513 00:19:37,135 --> 00:19:38,553 We head back to her place. 514 00:19:39,929 --> 00:19:41,598 I will skip ahead to protect her dignity, 515 00:19:42,682 --> 00:19:46,227 but we make hardcore love. 516 00:19:47,312 --> 00:19:49,773 And then we fall asleep on her lanai, 517 00:19:49,814 --> 00:19:51,274 to the sound of the full moon. 518 00:19:53,735 --> 00:19:57,572 And then chocolate chip pancakes. 519 00:19:59,741 --> 00:20:02,160 (car whizzing by) 520 00:20:02,202 --> 00:20:03,745 Are you ready to order? 521 00:20:03,787 --> 00:20:04,954 Yes we are. 522 00:20:04,996 --> 00:20:08,375 We would like to start with the chowders 523 00:20:08,416 --> 00:20:13,380 and then we will move on to the lobster feast for two. 524 00:20:14,673 --> 00:20:17,676 And do you have a house red? 525 00:20:17,717 --> 00:20:18,885 Yep. 526 00:20:18,927 --> 00:20:20,929 We will take a bottle of that. 527 00:20:20,970 --> 00:20:23,306 House makes a great red. 528 00:20:23,348 --> 00:20:24,849 Anything else for you miss? 529 00:20:24,891 --> 00:20:26,351 Oh, I'll just have the chef salad 530 00:20:26,393 --> 00:20:28,478 and no dressing and an iced tea, please. 531 00:20:30,563 --> 00:20:33,483 So do you still want those two lobsters? 532 00:20:33,525 --> 00:20:34,818 Yes. Yes. 533 00:20:34,859 --> 00:20:35,735 Okay. 534 00:20:35,777 --> 00:20:36,945 Yes, I do. 535 00:20:36,986 --> 00:20:37,987 I will be right back with your drinks. 536 00:20:38,029 --> 00:20:39,280 Thank you. 537 00:20:39,322 --> 00:20:41,533 So I've gone over corporate policy. 538 00:20:41,574 --> 00:20:43,159 What do you think? 539 00:20:43,201 --> 00:20:44,744 What do you think of this place? 540 00:20:44,786 --> 00:20:45,620 Oh, it's very nice. 541 00:20:45,662 --> 00:20:46,621 Isn't it? 542 00:20:46,663 --> 00:20:47,956 Mmm 543 00:20:47,997 --> 00:20:49,833 Yeah, it's kind of business romantic. 544 00:20:49,874 --> 00:20:50,959 So you're from Des Moines? 545 00:20:51,001 --> 00:20:51,960 Mmm. 546 00:20:52,002 --> 00:20:54,587 Wow. That sounds so warm. 547 00:20:55,547 --> 00:20:56,381 In summer. 548 00:20:56,423 --> 00:20:57,632 (snicker) 549 00:20:57,674 --> 00:20:58,967 Here too. 550 00:20:59,009 --> 00:21:00,635 You know what my favorite season is? 551 00:21:00,677 --> 00:21:02,429 Maybe we should talk about Meredith first. 552 00:21:02,470 --> 00:21:04,681 Yes. Get the boring stuff outta the way. 553 00:21:04,723 --> 00:21:07,934 Autumn was what I was gonna say. When the leaves change. 554 00:21:07,976 --> 00:21:09,519 It's just, I, I think it's 555 00:21:09,561 --> 00:21:12,856 the most contemplative of seasons. 556 00:21:12,897 --> 00:21:14,733 Okay, so I've gone over this 557 00:21:14,774 --> 00:21:15,900 and I've thought about it, 558 00:21:15,942 --> 00:21:17,819 and I just don't think there's any way 559 00:21:17,861 --> 00:21:19,654 I can write a report that doesn't end 560 00:21:19,696 --> 00:21:21,698 with her being terminated. 561 00:21:21,740 --> 00:21:23,491 Wow. Terminate her. 562 00:21:24,659 --> 00:21:26,077 Terminator 563 00:21:26,119 --> 00:21:27,328 I'm from the future. 564 00:21:30,540 --> 00:21:32,292 Hey Andy? 565 00:21:32,334 --> 00:21:33,626 Yo. 566 00:21:33,668 --> 00:21:34,836 By any chance, did you see Battlestar Galactica 567 00:21:34,878 --> 00:21:36,129 last night? 568 00:21:36,171 --> 00:21:38,298 No, I did not. Is that any good? 569 00:21:38,340 --> 00:21:40,425 Actually not. It was really so, so. 570 00:21:40,467 --> 00:21:41,259 Okay. 571 00:21:43,261 --> 00:21:45,180 I mean, I like all the crazy monsters and stuff. 572 00:21:45,221 --> 00:21:49,601 You know, like Klingons and Wookies, and all that but, 573 00:21:51,519 --> 00:21:54,230 Sorry, was there something you wanted to add, Dwight? 574 00:21:56,816 --> 00:21:59,569 Is that anything like the original Battlestar Galactica? 575 00:21:59,611 --> 00:22:00,945 You know what's weird? 576 00:22:00,987 --> 00:22:03,448 It's practically a shot, for shot remake. 577 00:22:03,490 --> 00:22:04,491 Really? 578 00:22:04,532 --> 00:22:06,076 (paper crinkling) 579 00:22:06,117 --> 00:22:08,036 Huh? That's cool. 580 00:22:08,078 --> 00:22:09,537 Story's kind of bland. 581 00:22:09,579 --> 00:22:11,873 It's about this guy named Dumbledore Talarizan. 582 00:22:11,915 --> 00:22:12,874 - Oh, okay. - He needs to return 583 00:22:12,916 --> 00:22:15,001 the ring, back to Mortor. 584 00:22:15,043 --> 00:22:16,294 Really? 585 00:22:16,336 --> 00:22:18,088 That doesn't sound right. 586 00:22:19,255 --> 00:22:22,092 I just don't want my employees thinking that 587 00:22:22,133 --> 00:22:25,637 their jobs depend on performance. 588 00:22:25,679 --> 00:22:29,641 I mean, what sort of place is that to call home? 589 00:22:30,934 --> 00:22:32,894 And Meredith needs this job. 590 00:22:32,936 --> 00:22:34,938 This is her main source of money. 591 00:22:34,979 --> 00:22:36,106 Well, that's very sweet, 592 00:22:36,147 --> 00:22:37,774 but we have to follow the protocol. 593 00:22:37,816 --> 00:22:38,775 Those are the rules. 594 00:22:38,817 --> 00:22:40,485 Okay. New idea. 595 00:22:40,527 --> 00:22:42,028 We don't report it at all. We just punish her. 596 00:22:42,070 --> 00:22:42,862 We punish her. 597 00:22:42,904 --> 00:22:44,155 Mmm hmm 598 00:22:44,197 --> 00:22:46,366 Tell her, can't have sex for six months. 599 00:22:46,408 --> 00:22:47,617 I don't think we could enforce that. 600 00:22:47,659 --> 00:22:50,328 I don't know. I saw this thing, 601 00:22:50,370 --> 00:22:51,913 like a belt with a key. 602 00:22:51,955 --> 00:22:53,456 A Chasity belt. 603 00:22:53,498 --> 00:22:58,294 It's more of a underwear garment that has little spikes, 604 00:22:58,336 --> 00:23:00,922 like made of, like sometimes they're made of metal. 605 00:23:00,964 --> 00:23:02,966 You know what I'm talking about? 606 00:23:03,008 --> 00:23:04,801 You unlock a little door that, 607 00:23:05,927 --> 00:23:06,761 down 608 00:23:08,096 --> 00:23:09,180 where you, 609 00:23:09,222 --> 00:23:10,056 where you put, 610 00:23:10,098 --> 00:23:10,807 where you put the 611 00:23:18,231 --> 00:23:21,901 He has not stopped working for a second. 612 00:23:23,236 --> 00:23:26,072 At 12:45, he sneezed, 613 00:23:26,114 --> 00:23:27,615 while keeping his eyes open. 614 00:23:28,700 --> 00:23:31,119 Which I always thought was impossible. 615 00:23:31,161 --> 00:23:32,787 At 1:32, he peed. 616 00:23:32,829 --> 00:23:35,832 And I know that because he did it in an open soda bottle, 617 00:23:35,874 --> 00:23:38,960 under the desk, while filling out expense reports. 618 00:23:39,002 --> 00:23:41,463 And on the flip side, I've been so busy watching him 619 00:23:41,504 --> 00:23:43,256 that I haven't even started work. 620 00:23:44,341 --> 00:23:45,842 It's exhausting being this vigilant. 621 00:23:47,677 --> 00:23:50,013 I'll probably have to go home early today. 622 00:23:50,055 --> 00:23:52,307 I am just saying that I don't think 623 00:23:52,349 --> 00:23:55,643 that you understand what I am saying. 624 00:23:55,685 --> 00:23:58,229 No, you are saying, that we should sweep it 625 00:23:58,271 --> 00:24:01,566 under the carpet, accept the discount on supplies, 626 00:24:01,608 --> 00:24:03,526 not fire Meredith and pretend like 627 00:24:03,568 --> 00:24:05,278 the whole thing never happened. 628 00:24:06,071 --> 00:24:07,197 Yes. 629 00:24:07,238 --> 00:24:08,656 What am I saying? 630 00:24:08,698 --> 00:24:09,491 Well, 631 00:24:10,867 --> 00:24:12,494 bluuuh, busted. I don't, 632 00:24:12,535 --> 00:24:14,746 I'm saying that her behavior is unethical 633 00:24:14,788 --> 00:24:16,289 and a little icky. 634 00:24:16,331 --> 00:24:18,291 And I don't think I wanna work in an environment where 635 00:24:18,333 --> 00:24:20,460 that sort of conduct's tolerated. 636 00:24:20,502 --> 00:24:21,461 Well, you have to tolerate a lot, 637 00:24:21,503 --> 00:24:23,088 when you're part of a family. 638 00:24:23,129 --> 00:24:25,715 It's not a family. It's a workplace. 639 00:24:34,140 --> 00:24:36,810 (car door slams) 640 00:24:38,019 --> 00:24:39,521 (other car door slams) 641 00:24:39,562 --> 00:24:40,563 I will be honest with you. 642 00:24:40,605 --> 00:24:44,275 That car ride did not go well. 643 00:24:44,317 --> 00:24:46,444 And that was not my fault. 644 00:24:46,486 --> 00:24:48,154 The only reason I am standing out here, 645 00:24:48,196 --> 00:24:49,656 right now, is because I don't want to 646 00:24:49,698 --> 00:24:51,074 take the elevator with her. 647 00:24:52,742 --> 00:24:54,869 And I am holding on her leftovers. 648 00:24:56,830 --> 00:24:59,541 (crinkling thud) 649 00:25:02,293 --> 00:25:03,211 Hey, how did it go? 650 00:25:03,253 --> 00:25:04,004 Ohh, God, 651 00:25:05,338 --> 00:25:06,548 Meredith, you know what? 652 00:25:07,424 --> 00:25:09,300 I just need a minute. Okay? 653 00:25:09,342 --> 00:25:10,343 Okay. 654 00:25:13,596 --> 00:25:15,056 What do you need? 655 00:25:15,098 --> 00:25:16,558 I'm getting fired, aren't I? 656 00:25:17,475 --> 00:25:18,601 I can't get fired. 657 00:25:18,643 --> 00:25:20,061 I got nothing else. Nothing. 658 00:25:20,103 --> 00:25:22,564 No skill set. I can't type. I'm bad on the phone. 659 00:25:22,605 --> 00:25:23,523 I'm not great with people. 660 00:25:23,565 --> 00:25:25,608 I really want to keep you. 661 00:25:25,650 --> 00:25:26,901 Where else am I gonna get another job 662 00:25:26,943 --> 00:25:29,237 that lets me come in at 11 and leave at 4? 663 00:25:29,279 --> 00:25:30,321 Wait, what? 664 00:25:30,363 --> 00:25:31,865 I wish Toby was still here. 665 00:25:31,906 --> 00:25:33,700 Mmm naaa. 666 00:25:52,469 --> 00:25:55,221 Whoa, Pam, you drank that whole volcano. 667 00:25:55,263 --> 00:25:56,890 No, you guys all had some 668 00:25:56,931 --> 00:25:58,016 Uhh, no. 669 00:25:58,058 --> 00:25:59,184 Mmm, mmm 670 00:25:59,225 --> 00:26:00,852 I just drank a vat of rum? 671 00:26:00,894 --> 00:26:03,855 Yeah, it's still, uh, lit. You worked fast. 672 00:26:03,897 --> 00:26:04,898 Oh. 673 00:26:04,939 --> 00:26:06,858 Oh, you are toast. 674 00:26:06,900 --> 00:26:08,193 I am not drunk. 675 00:26:08,234 --> 00:26:09,903 Wow. Did you just hear yourself? 676 00:26:11,237 --> 00:26:12,989 I'm gonna repeat back to you what you just said. 677 00:26:13,990 --> 00:26:14,991 "uhhhhh, mmmmm, nnnn" 678 00:26:15,033 --> 00:26:16,076 (laughter) 679 00:26:16,117 --> 00:26:17,786 Okay. I do not sound like that. 680 00:26:17,827 --> 00:26:18,912 You can take a girl out of Philly. 681 00:26:18,953 --> 00:26:19,621 Scranton 682 00:26:19,662 --> 00:26:22,207 [All] Scran-ton. 683 00:26:22,248 --> 00:26:24,793 What? I am not even sound like that. 684 00:26:24,834 --> 00:26:26,044 (laughter) 685 00:26:26,086 --> 00:26:28,797 (gibberish) 686 00:26:28,838 --> 00:26:29,631 Exactly. 687 00:26:31,007 --> 00:26:33,051 Oh my gosh. A little bit of the volcano came up. 688 00:26:33,093 --> 00:26:33,968 Ooh. Oh. 689 00:26:35,011 --> 00:26:36,137 Oh, that's bad. 690 00:26:36,179 --> 00:26:38,264 (laughter) 691 00:26:38,306 --> 00:26:39,849 I bet. 692 00:26:39,891 --> 00:26:42,686 Today was a great day. I found a new coffee place. 693 00:26:42,727 --> 00:26:45,021 I found a new volcano place. 694 00:26:45,063 --> 00:26:47,315 And in Scranton, I would be considered an alcoholic, 695 00:26:47,357 --> 00:26:49,567 but in New York, I'm just a moody artist. 696 00:26:49,609 --> 00:26:52,112 You guys moody artists drink volcanoes, right? 697 00:26:53,113 --> 00:26:53,947 They said, right. 698 00:26:55,115 --> 00:26:56,449 I love New York. 699 00:26:57,617 --> 00:26:59,119 Dunder Mifflin, this is Ryan. 700 00:27:00,120 --> 00:27:01,496 Oh, Hey, Toby. 701 00:27:01,538 --> 00:27:02,789 Como estas? 702 00:27:04,290 --> 00:27:05,417 Are the girls there amazing 703 00:27:05,458 --> 00:27:06,960 or are they all poor and stuff? 704 00:27:08,837 --> 00:27:09,629 Interesting. 705 00:27:11,798 --> 00:27:12,632 Really? 706 00:27:14,134 --> 00:27:15,927 Yeah. Hold on. 707 00:27:15,969 --> 00:27:16,803 Hey, (knocking) 708 00:27:16,845 --> 00:27:18,930 I have Toby on the line for you. 709 00:27:18,972 --> 00:27:20,473 He says he's returning your call. 710 00:27:20,515 --> 00:27:22,100 He's a liar. 711 00:27:22,142 --> 00:27:22,934 Thanks. 712 00:27:25,895 --> 00:27:26,771 (sigh) 713 00:27:26,813 --> 00:27:28,440 Yes. 714 00:27:28,481 --> 00:27:29,733 [Toby] Hello Michael. 715 00:27:29,774 --> 00:27:32,152 Oh. Wow. I forgot how stupid your voice was. 716 00:27:32,193 --> 00:27:35,697 This, this is the worst call I have ever had to make. 717 00:27:35,739 --> 00:27:37,323 I made this call. 718 00:27:37,365 --> 00:27:38,575 It's very expensive. You know? 719 00:27:38,616 --> 00:27:40,035 Well, here's the thing. 720 00:27:40,076 --> 00:27:44,873 Holly is new and she doesn't know everything yet 721 00:27:44,914 --> 00:27:47,959 because you didn't teach her right. 722 00:27:48,001 --> 00:27:49,753 I gave her the standard four hours 723 00:27:49,794 --> 00:27:51,296 of training that we all get. 724 00:27:51,338 --> 00:27:52,839 Okay. Okay. 725 00:27:52,881 --> 00:27:55,508 You obviously overlooked the part where there is certain 726 00:27:55,550 --> 00:27:58,511 wiggle room in reporting infractions. 727 00:27:59,596 --> 00:28:01,056 What's going on exactly? 728 00:28:01,097 --> 00:28:03,558 Meredith has been sleeping with a Hammermill supplier 729 00:28:03,600 --> 00:28:05,477 for lower rates. 730 00:28:05,518 --> 00:28:07,145 Okay. That's really not good. 731 00:28:07,187 --> 00:28:09,147 A, Holly needs to report that 732 00:28:10,440 --> 00:28:11,483 and B, even though I've left the job, 733 00:28:11,524 --> 00:28:13,234 I now have a duty to report it. 734 00:28:16,279 --> 00:28:18,198 (huffs) 735 00:28:26,206 --> 00:28:28,291 19 Minutes and 48 seconds. 736 00:28:29,876 --> 00:28:31,628 What were we doing for 19 minutes and 48 seconds? 737 00:28:31,670 --> 00:28:32,962 None of your business. 738 00:28:35,048 --> 00:28:38,051 So, I guess I can assume that was personal? 739 00:28:44,516 --> 00:28:45,308 Fine. 740 00:28:46,893 --> 00:28:50,647 So maybe you're not completely ethical after all. 741 00:28:51,564 --> 00:28:52,565 Yes. 742 00:28:53,608 --> 00:28:54,567 Maybe I'm not. 743 00:28:59,614 --> 00:29:02,075 Hey, anybody see a pair of sunglasses? 744 00:29:04,619 --> 00:29:08,039 Um, I think I saw some in the kitchen. 745 00:29:08,081 --> 00:29:10,875 (oven timer dings) 746 00:29:24,931 --> 00:29:25,765 Whoa, 747 00:29:27,434 --> 00:29:29,352 I didn't do that. 748 00:29:29,394 --> 00:29:30,270 (sigh) 749 00:29:30,311 --> 00:29:31,813 That was Kevin 1.0. 750 00:29:33,481 --> 00:29:37,027 But he hurt a lot of people, Ryan. 751 00:29:37,068 --> 00:29:39,988 And I can't accept responsibility 752 00:29:40,030 --> 00:29:41,948 for what he did. 753 00:29:53,293 --> 00:29:56,755 Kevin 2.0 is exactly 754 00:29:56,796 --> 00:30:00,008 like Kevin 1.0, 755 00:30:00,050 --> 00:30:03,928 except he doesn't take crap from nobody. 756 00:30:11,478 --> 00:30:13,396 (clink) 757 00:30:16,608 --> 00:30:18,943 (door squeaks) 758 00:30:18,985 --> 00:30:20,320 It's been a little tense. 759 00:30:21,780 --> 00:30:23,823 People are suspicious of me 760 00:30:25,158 --> 00:30:27,744 and my best friend in the office won't even talk to me. 761 00:30:28,870 --> 00:30:30,830 It turns out being the morality police does not 762 00:30:30,872 --> 00:30:32,082 make you popular. 763 00:30:32,123 --> 00:30:33,792 I should know, because in middle school, 764 00:30:33,833 --> 00:30:35,627 I was the hall monitor and the kids used to stuff 765 00:30:35,669 --> 00:30:37,087 eggs salad in my locker. 766 00:30:38,254 --> 00:30:40,507 Yeah. I was just hoping middle school was over. 767 00:30:40,548 --> 00:30:42,300 (exhales) 768 00:30:42,342 --> 00:30:45,679 (copy machine clicking) 769 00:30:46,971 --> 00:30:48,640 Kendall from corporate HR is on line one 770 00:30:48,682 --> 00:30:50,266 and Holly's on her way in too. 771 00:30:50,308 --> 00:30:52,811 What's the only thing worse than one HR rep? 772 00:30:52,852 --> 00:30:54,479 Two HR reps. 773 00:30:54,521 --> 00:30:55,271 You get me. 774 00:30:56,648 --> 00:30:57,440 (knocking on door) 775 00:30:57,482 --> 00:30:58,733 Can I sit? 776 00:30:58,775 --> 00:31:00,860 I don't know, can you? 777 00:31:02,237 --> 00:31:03,822 Kendall, my main man. 778 00:31:03,863 --> 00:31:06,783 Listen, Holly, Michael, I just got the report 779 00:31:06,825 --> 00:31:08,702 that your branch submitted and there's a lot of stuff 780 00:31:08,743 --> 00:31:10,870 about a relationship Meredith is having with-- 781 00:31:10,912 --> 00:31:13,081 Yes. That came out during the ethics seminar. 782 00:31:13,123 --> 00:31:14,791 And let the record show that it was during 783 00:31:14,833 --> 00:31:16,626 the immunity part of the seminar. 784 00:31:16,668 --> 00:31:19,754 Well, I'm not sure these circumstances warrant any action. 785 00:31:19,796 --> 00:31:22,048 Oh, I think, it's pretty clear, it was unethical. 786 00:31:22,090 --> 00:31:24,843 Oh, from what I can gather, it seems like a gray area. 787 00:31:24,884 --> 00:31:26,928 Look, to be honest, the company's getting a discount 788 00:31:26,970 --> 00:31:28,847 at a tough time on our balance sheet, 789 00:31:28,888 --> 00:31:30,265 and I don't know that the right thing to do 790 00:31:30,306 --> 00:31:32,517 for the company is to turn our noses up at that. 791 00:31:32,559 --> 00:31:35,311 Um, Kendall, I understand that the discount is good 792 00:31:35,353 --> 00:31:37,897 for the company, but I'm just not happy about 793 00:31:37,939 --> 00:31:39,232 the way we're getting it. 794 00:31:40,734 --> 00:31:42,902 See, I thought it was clear with you, Holly. 795 00:31:42,944 --> 00:31:45,697 Your task was to get signatures from the employees showing 796 00:31:45,739 --> 00:31:47,365 that they completed the training. 797 00:31:47,407 --> 00:31:48,575 No, I understand. 798 00:31:48,616 --> 00:31:49,826 Look, cause every other branch has managed 799 00:31:49,868 --> 00:31:50,785 to get this to us. So, if it's not something 800 00:31:50,827 --> 00:31:52,746 - you can handle, - No. 801 00:31:52,787 --> 00:31:53,705 then that's a different discussion. 802 00:31:53,747 --> 00:31:55,206 No, I, I can do it. 803 00:31:55,248 --> 00:31:56,249 Good. 804 00:31:56,291 --> 00:31:58,460 (dial tone) 805 00:32:01,671 --> 00:32:05,175 How do you tell somebody that you care about, deeply, 806 00:32:06,426 --> 00:32:07,385 I told you so? 807 00:32:08,970 --> 00:32:11,056 Gently, with a rose? 808 00:32:13,058 --> 00:32:14,476 In a funny way? 809 00:32:14,517 --> 00:32:16,936 Like it's a hilarious joke? 810 00:32:19,439 --> 00:32:20,523 Or do you just let it go? 811 00:32:22,108 --> 00:32:24,319 Because saying it would just make things worse. 812 00:32:27,447 --> 00:32:28,531 Probably the funny way. 813 00:32:29,783 --> 00:32:31,326 Can I have everyone's attention? 814 00:32:33,119 --> 00:32:35,872 Excuse me. May I have everyone's attention, please? 815 00:32:36,956 --> 00:32:38,792 We need to finish the ethics seminar. 816 00:32:38,833 --> 00:32:40,168 No way lady. 817 00:32:40,210 --> 00:32:41,461 It's a trap. 818 00:32:41,503 --> 00:32:43,338 Everyone, please, I just need your signatures 819 00:32:43,380 --> 00:32:45,298 to show corporate that I gave you the training. 820 00:32:45,340 --> 00:32:46,466 Don't sign anything. 821 00:32:46,508 --> 00:32:48,176 Okay, everybody listen up, if you are not 822 00:32:48,218 --> 00:32:49,886 in that conference room in two minutes, 823 00:32:49,928 --> 00:32:51,429 I am going to kill you. 824 00:32:51,471 --> 00:32:52,681 It's a quarter to five 825 00:32:52,722 --> 00:32:54,766 and I have started to gather my things. 826 00:32:54,808 --> 00:32:58,978 Get in there right now or I'm gonna lose it! 827 00:33:09,364 --> 00:33:10,448 Am I getting fired? 828 00:33:10,490 --> 00:33:12,158 Now's really not the time, Meredith. 829 00:33:14,285 --> 00:33:16,371 In this next section, we examine the difference 830 00:33:16,413 --> 00:33:19,207 between sick days and personal days. 831 00:33:19,249 --> 00:33:21,835 Sick days are only to be used when an illness 832 00:33:21,876 --> 00:33:24,045 precludes you from doing your job 833 00:33:24,087 --> 00:33:26,047 or can spread to your coworkers. 834 00:33:27,465 --> 00:33:30,468 Personal days, on the other hand, are much more flexible. 835 00:33:30,510 --> 00:33:32,512 I guess it does sort of look like Holly 836 00:33:32,554 --> 00:33:35,515 and I lost a bit of our connection, today, 837 00:33:35,557 --> 00:33:36,641 but I don't think we did. 838 00:33:36,683 --> 00:33:38,435 I think it's still there. 839 00:33:38,476 --> 00:33:41,062 You might not be able to see it, but it is still there. 840 00:33:42,355 --> 00:33:43,940 It's like the wall. 841 00:33:43,982 --> 00:33:45,275 That whole wall thing. 842 00:33:46,568 --> 00:33:48,987 They say how can you know if the wall is there, 843 00:33:49,029 --> 00:33:50,363 if you don't see it? 844 00:33:50,405 --> 00:33:52,824 Well, I know it's there. 845 00:33:52,866 --> 00:33:55,160 How? I do. I just do. 846 00:33:56,578 --> 00:33:59,164 Also, if the wall disappears, 847 00:33:59,205 --> 00:34:02,042 my picture will fall down, and I will hear that. 848 00:34:07,464 --> 00:34:09,215 Thank you, Meredith. This was delicious. 849 00:34:09,257 --> 00:34:10,717 Hey, where's the steak sauce? 850 00:34:11,968 --> 00:34:13,219 I think we're out. 851 00:34:13,261 --> 00:34:15,180 I got some in my minivan somewhere. 852 00:34:17,557 --> 00:34:20,352 Wait a second, how does the steak factor in again? 853 00:34:20,393 --> 00:34:22,979 I think she got it as a tip, 854 00:34:23,021 --> 00:34:25,315 but I don't know why she didn't just take cash. 855 00:34:25,357 --> 00:34:26,733 I don't care what she's doing. 856 00:34:26,775 --> 00:34:28,318 I hope she just keeps doing it. 857 00:34:28,360 --> 00:34:29,944 Amen. Just keep the ribs coming. 858 00:34:29,986 --> 00:34:32,364 (slap) 859 00:34:32,405 --> 00:34:35,033 (bright music)